May 27, 2005 APee News

AIPAC has been given the go ahead to replace the U.S. congress in order to make the government run more efficiently— for the State of Israel, lawmakers agreed. Senate majority leader Tom Delay announced the plan, "We think this will be the best way to funnel US tax dollars to Israel without getting bogged down in pesky debates in congress over who gets what: they get it all!". Passage of the amendment had few detractors, except for the lone voices of a Ron Paul or a Cynthia McKinney who said, "I can’t sincerely believe that the American people would prefer having their government run by a foreign spy agency, I will gather the support of my constituency to stop this." As for the President of the United States, George W. Bush, he had no comment and had to pick up his wife from the airport where she had just returned from a trip to the Wailing Wall to show her support for the Jewish state, despite the fact that she is not Jewish. "A magmanimous gesture indeed", remarked an Israeli official.

Congresspersons who will be replaced by AIPAC members plan to seek work in the private sector, many suggested they would find work in the Israeli defense industry, helping to funnel US tax dollars to fund Israeli high tech weapons research that could be sold at profitable margins to China. From the radical Left, the dissident intellectual and professor Noam Chomsky commented, "Of course some people will blame the Jews for taking over the government, but this is completely irrelevant as to the systemic inquiry into real power and who yields it. As any serious person understands."

AIPAC is planning to ban the US constitution and replace it with the Talmud, this may stir some debate in remote quarters but proponents are confident that the new AIPAC congress will be able to get enough votes for the new measure. ***

some actual details of the AIPAC agenda from Forward May 26, 2005 http://www.forward.com/main/printer... "During meetings with 99 senators and 350 House members on Capitol Hill, Aipac delegates urged lawmakers to support the Iran Freedom Support Act, which would tighten American sanctions imposed on foreign companies that do business in Iran. More than 200 members of the House, nearly half the body, have already signed on as co-sponsors of the bill. "Aipac delegates also worked to generate support for the additional financial aid that Israel is expected to request shortly to develop its northern and southern periphery. Jerusalem could end up requesting as much as $1.6 billion for the development of the Galilee and the Negev, according to Israeli officials. "This year’s conference slogan, "Israel, an American value," was accompanied by a logo that shows an American flag framed by a six-pointed star.... "To me the most significant and telling moment of this conference was when the ’Star Spangled Banner’ was not followed by ’Hatikva,’" said Harvey Gilbert, a delegate from Lodi, Calif."

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