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MORK FROM ORK MEET CHRISTMAS

by Open-Publishing - Saturday 23 December 2006

USA Peter Fredson

Mork from Ork and his first Christmas experience.

Posted by Peter Fredson

December 23, 2006

I found this on an old computer, without attribution, and thought you might like to see it at this season.

If you think the holidays are confusing, just read this:

"Mork calling Orson. Mork calling Orson...Hello, Orson? Orson, they have this amazing festival down here, that everybody gets into, but especially the stores and shopping malls... What’s that? Oh well, it’s sort of an enclosed walkway where you can go and meet your friends, and smell cookies baking, and buy ice cream cones to spill on the clothes in the stores, and they’re all the same in every city. I think there’s an enormous computer somewhere that spits them out and drops them in the suburbs right in the middle of a sea of automobiles that can’t move, but they got in there somehow, but there’s no way to get anymore in and...

Oh, yes, the festival...Well, it’s all about a little boy, with a drum, and he’s born in a sleigh, in some straw, right next to some chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

Yes, it’s all very dangerous, but it’s okay because he is guarded by this enormous fat man in a red suit, named Round John Virgin and he’s standing by a tree with a partridge in it, drinking something called Wassail...

No, I’m not exactly sure what that is, and nobody here can tell me. But there’s a lady kneeling nearby with a light over her head, and a couple of sheep and a donkey and a camel and this really strange deer with a red electric nose. And a dog sleeping on top of his house while a crotchety old man is hoisting this crippled boy on his shoulder who is holding a turkey by the neck saying, "God bless us everyone!"

Yeah, the little boy says that, not the turkey...Well, anyway, after they sing awhile, they take all these packages and wrap them up in paper, which they then take right off again and the little kids play with the paper and the older kids says, "Is this all there is?" And the fathers sit in front of the picture-box and the mothers collapse on a chair. The whole festival concludes 60 days later with an observance called Visa Card Day, when everybody becomes really serious, religious, and worshipful. Millions of people open envelopes and say, "My God!"

Yeah, it’s really a lot of fun. We ought to introduce it up there on Ork...Well, that’s all for now. Nanu, nanu!"

AND A HAPPY HOLIDAY TO ALL