Lethal Miscalculations: a ghoulsih tale for the kids

For life is a tragedy, wherein we sit as Spectators awhile, and act out our own Part in it.

Jonathan Swift

Now that October and late-day sunshine recede into oblivion, and there has been no "October Surprise," the world can breathe easier. Right? Don’t bet on it. In this environment, ruled principally by knaves and fools, it’s not wise to count your chickens too early. November, after all, is the 9th inning (politically speaking) and there are two outs - Iraq and Afghanistan. Is it possible a chemical plant in Indianapolis, or a refinery in Houston, or a Taco Bell in Baltimore will be attacked by terrorists next week? Never say never. America has arrived at a point where anything seems possible, which has made it an extraordinarily dizzy and dangerous nation.

In other words it’s a perfect time for a Halloween story. The benefit of America’s current state of affairs is that scary story tellers don’t have to reach back to yesterday’s vampires, ghosts and goblins. That’s because America has been blessed by the spooky Neocons - a modernized version of bloodsucking monsters who lurk not in alley ways, or smelly attics, but in and around the most powerful town in the history of humankind - DC. No, they don’t sleep all day. And they don’t get their evil impetus from moon rays. They thrive on raw, neoimperialistic ambition, aiming to control those parts of the world that are by every other reasonable measure considered to be uncontrollable. And despite a string of horrid failures, they keep their perverted hopes alive, which is exactly what makes them monstrous.

The inspiration for this seasonal tale comes from Scott Ridder and Seymour Hersh - two beacons of investigatory brilliance - who recently presented the facts that reveal the Administration’s plans for invading Iran - the next target on the "War on Terror" tour. According to their sources, the fix is in: America will attack Iran. The only exception would be if sufficient numbers of Democrats and Republicans who signed on to the Oct. 2002 Bill providing Bush a license to strike anywhere at any time be voted out of office, including Lieberman and Hillary, which is not likely.
So turn off the TV, gather the kids around the pumpkin’s flickering candle and prepare them for a spine tingling story about the end of a great country.

If you want to set the stage you might explain Aesop’s quote, "Pride before the fall." And to make it especially scary, the point of view is set in the near future, after the U.S. was humiliated in what became WWIII.

Once, believe it or not, America was a great nation - one of the greatest the world had ever seen. People from around the world came and lived good lives and helped their children live even better lives, which, of course, since the Iranian Debacle, we can no longer do.

Here’s how it happened: America never truly overcame losing the Vietnam war, the revolution that ousted the Shah of Iran, the humiliation of having hostages taken by Iranians who were bitter about America’s colonial manipulations, and last but not least, the horrors of 9/11. These seemed like stains on an otherwise glorious record of human achievement.

Maybe if people weren’t always rushing around, chasing wild dreams and escapist entertainment, Americans might’ve come to realize these affairs - call them national foibles if you will - were in the same league as those that have plagued every old country that’s ever existed. But, somehow - don’t ask me why - Americans thought they were immune to such consequences. Americans thought they were and should always remain exceptional. As it turned out, however, Americans weren’t exceptional when it came to thinking about their role in the world, about existing geopolitical circumstances, and about how history, like the weather, can change over night. No, the people were kind of dumb when it came to profound issues.

Over time, more and more people began to rely on their politicians to take care of the big issues. And the more powerful the politicians got, the more corrupt they became. They began playing fast and loose with the facts until no one was quite sure what the facts were. For instance, the people were assured that their Social Security accounts would never be touched by the government, but then politicians eager to satisfy voters - Democrats, Republicans, Independents - all of them tapped into the Social Security funds until there was no more money left for the people. And the worst of it all is that those scoundrels were amply rewarded by favors, payoffs and patronage. Why? Because the people were stupid and scared. Fear equaled power and power equaled abuse. Which set the stage for the dreaded Neocons - a breed of flesh wasting creatures who felt they knew better than anyone else in the world how the world should be run.

The Neocons - a group of wayward ideologues and bloody professors, many of them obsessed about the welfare of Israel as much as if not more than America’s welfare - insisted that democracies were perfect forms of government that should be formed by every country in the world to make the world a safe place. And to do that they pulled out the "smart" bombs, the Shock and Awe, the depleted uranium munitions, the Drones, the bunker busters - an array of destructive technology that Napoleon in his most imaginative moment coudl’ve never dreamt of. And how did they get this power to do such a thing? Because the people were shaking in their boots after 9/11. Your grandma was afraid that Abdul would sprinkle anthrax on her herb garden.

The Joneses - the neighbors we wave to but basically ignore - stopped taking trains because they expected them to be blown up. Aunt Milly was sure a terrorist was going to blow up the propane fueled grill and moved it into the garage. Uncle Billy bought enough rations and ammunition to last a year. And that’s why Americans collectively, who knew the President wasn’t qualified enough to take tolls on the New Jersey Turnpike, nevertheless gave him the power over the world and just about everyone in it. And in turn, W, who didn’t cotton to books turned over the reins to the Neocons, his Vice President (accent on the vice) and an old statesman - a man who recommended the use of nuclear arms in the Vietnam war - Henry Kissinger.

Together this sorry group of intellectual hacks squandered untold billions in Iraq before it was partitioned into three territories - none of them functioning as a democracy. They next decided to try their idealistic blueprint on Iran, figuring that a regime change there would lead to a democracy. How could they do such a thing? Because they were stubborn - capital S. Because they ignored reality. Because they didn’t have a clue about the significance of Shiria in Muslim life. Because they were trying to speed history up when history refused to budge, and instead, moved backwards. Because they had a game plan they refused to change and rather than democratizing the world they dedemocratized America to the point it became such a grotesque, immoral country so that no other nation in the world wanted to emulate this once great nation.

Quickly, after the initial bombing of Iran, conditions worsened quickly. Since the bombing was ineffectual, America sent in 64,000 troops - all the troops available at the time - to bring a regime change. Rapidly, Iranian forces overpowered them and there were heavy losses. And then, according to the plans that had been drawn up, against all common sense and in spite of the ethical repercussions, the Neocons persuaded Bush to drop nuclear bombs. In the meantime over 5 million barrels of oil a day were taken off the market. Gas was $8 a gallon if you could get any. The stock marker crashed and had to remain closed for months.

Terrorists appeared out of the woodwork. Ports and airports were constantly being shut down due to threats. North Korea, Venezuela, Saudi Arabia, Syria, Egypt and Lebanon joined forces. More oil was taken off the market. Much of the EU, NATO and Russia condemned America’s actions. Israel lost the northern sector to Hezbollah. Radical Muslims were being manufactured in every corner of the globe. Bombs were going off in Paris, London, Las Vegas, and New York.

Instead of making the world safer, the war divided nations into spheres of intense hatred. China was infuriated because of the loss of oil it experienced. It then annexed Taiwan. Japan was attacked by North Korea but American forces were spread too thin to help. The monetary crisis produced a 76% rate of inflation. Unemployment was officially 41%. Housing prices returned to pre-1970 rates. After 10 months of continuous anarchy in the streets of Washington, the Capitol building was burned to the ground by an angry mob. A draft was reinstated and included people from ages 17 - 55.

Six leading Neocons who started the mess relocated to the back woods of Brazil, including Donald Rumsfeld. Turkey attacked Kurdistan. Germany and Japan insisted on acquiring nuclear arms. Pakistan and India went to war, using nuclear arms. The atmosphere was heavy with radioactive iodine. People around the globe were warned to stay inside. H5N1 began to spread and soon produced a pandemic. End timers gathered on a hill in Oregon and drank a vat of poisoned Kool Aid.

Daniel Ellsberg and Noam Chomsky were jailed. University labs and facilities were annexed by the armed forces for experimental uses. MIT became a wing of the Pentagon. The U.N. was shut down permanently. And just when it appeared circumstances could get no worse, the Vatican declared a Crusade was necessary to eliminate the Moslem threat.

In less than 7 years after 9/11, the world again returned to a new Dark Age. Heretics and witches were burned in public squares. Libraries were shut down. The internet was controlled by the Internet Control Group - a governmental agency that limited electronic communications to the bare minimum.

And Iran? It turns out they were actually looking for a fight because its Administration was under fire from the younger generation and would’ve probably been voted out of office in a proto-democratic election without America’s influence. But since it was attacked, it was natural and predictable that the people rallied around their leaders who now gloat because of their victory over the great Evil Empire. Today, Iran is one of the wealthiest countries on Earth, along with its strong ally, China, which picked up a lot of the broken pieces America’s foolish wars left behind.