BUSH MAIN GOUGER

BUSH GOUGER

By Peter Fredson

April 22, 2006

I watched two actors strut on stage yesterday in Los Angeles. Arnold
Schwartzenegger and George W. Bush appeared for the purpose of bolstering up faltering popularity polls, and pumping for pet projects. Arnold wanted state levees rebuilt quickly and George wanted desperately to be liked again. George went back to his Education President disguise while simultaneously seeming to do something about high gasoline prices.

You may say what you like about George, but once he has made up his mind about something, nothing will stop him. He will “stay the course” regardless of any amount of failure. He is like the guy who watches reruns of football games, hoping that the result will be different the next rerun around.

George got to his podium and, staring intently at the camera to show his utmost sincerity announced: "I know people here are suffering at the gas pump," George said, in his best “I feel your pain” voice. "I pledge to the people here that if we find any price gouging, it will be dealt with firmly."

At that point, filled with incredulity, I nearly fell out of my chair laughing. I wondered if he was being cynical or sarcastic, or if he really believed what he was declaring.

He as the foremost gouger, the main leaker, the advocate of maximum corporate profits, the instigator of leaks, voting fraud and weapons of mass destruction, was announcing that he was going to do something drastic about high gas prices.

Sure, George, we all believe you. You bet!

Not long ago Prince Bandar and George kissed each other on the cheek, held hands, and took a little walk together, then a short time later gas prices doubled. Just coincidence? Sure, George, we believe you.

Then the energy company executives were assembled and questioned by a Republican sycophant who announced that swearing-in was unnecessary. Evidently they were all gentlemen, whose word of honor was sufficient to erase all doubt of their conspiring to raise prices. These are some of the same people that met with Dick Cheney, to help him form legislation concerning energy, in a secret session which still remains secret.

Does anyone think that these gentlemen would deliberately manipulate legislation to ensure their maximum profits and minimum responsibility for pollution, labor relations or price-gouging? Surely not!

Then we find George, Dick, Donald and Condi engaging in the same sort of rhetoric which led to their announcing that Iraq needed a regime change because its leader was EVIL. But now the focus has shifted to Iran, which by coincidence is also oil-rich. We find George threatening several Latin American Presidents, who by coincide also control large amounts of oil.

But was all the lying about weapons of mass destruction designed solely to seize oil and bases in Iraq? George, and Donald, and Dick, and Colin, and Condi, and Karl, and Wolfowitz said: “Heavens No.” “It’s about evil and our humanitarian compassion for the suffering Iraqis that led us to reluctantly declare shock and awe and to reluctantly kill 30,000 Iraqis, because we are moral Christians and would never murder anyone because our Jesus says it is wrong.”

So we must take them at their word, mustn’t we? Would they lie about sacred things?

So, is our children educated? Does our strategery work? Will Donald keep on killing Muslims indefinitely? Will Gas prices be controlled?

How many lies can a person swallow without vomiting? How much strutting, swaggering, smirking and great-big-teeth smiling, and back-slapping, will be necessary before people wake up and find that George is an efficient, effective, honest, capable, responsible leader?

How many more photo-ops will it take to show George is a compassionate conservative?

Meanwhile, gas prices will continue to soar, Oil Company executives will pour millions of dollars into the Republican Party coffers before they retire with multi-million dollar pensions to watch their employees suffer without any retirement income.

George, Dick, and Condit will continue to threaten oil-rich countries with regime change. George will continue to swagger, strut and smirk. Perhaps he takes mood-enhancing tablets to keep his ebullience because reality does not penetrate into his bubble. The bloody immoral and illicit war on Iraq will continue indefinitely.

Our leaders will continue to say everything is "going well," to praise our “brave boys” while continuing to send them to die for their lies. Our country will continue its slow slide into faith-based corporate fascism. George will continue his wish to know who leaked, who started the war, who is responsible for gas prices.

Maybe some day we will tell him, eh?

Perhaps on some other occasion I will give you my opinion on George as our “eddication Prezident.”

True Believers will continue to assert that Jesus will reappear momentarily to make everything right, and the Majority leaders will stand with a cup of water in their hand to give some brain-dead girl a drink of water.

George will continue to feel pain for the deaths of our brave boys, while he strums a guitar, eats cake and cuts brush at his ex-pig farm down in Crawfish Junction, in preparation for the next ten or twenty speeches which Karl has already made up in advance.

Let us now all gag.

Sic Semper Tyrannis.