2008 U.S. Elections..The Melting Pot Just Won’t Melt!

There is something most decidedly weird about US Presidential politics; Fair or not, those who can run for the presidency and actually have an honest shot at success fall into a very narrow category,and that ain’t a good thing!

Here are the rules:

Religion: ONLY Christians need apply (or those who pretend to be)

Color: Only the white race need apply (even thought there’s much talk about Rice and Obama, they would be shot before anyone would allow them to govern!)

Height: Between 5 ft 10" and 6 ft 2 ". No midgets or giants.

Weight: Normal is the key word here. No fatties, that’s for sure!

Hair: No moustaches or beards, and not baldies! (Eisenhower being the single exception, and he was a highly respected successful general)

Looks: No really ugly men need apply.

Gender: Women have a VERY slim chance (thank God!, because Hillary approved of the war AND the trashing of Habeas Corpus!)

Names: Only W.A.S.P. names have a good shot. There were a very few exceptions in the past (Roosevelt being one)

Politics: Only middle of the roaders need apply.

Family status: Only those WITH at least one child need apply.

Sexual preference: Only those who are married, who are NOT gay or otherwise involved in "unusual sexual behaviors" need apply.

War attitude: No Pacifists need apply.

Social Attitudes: Middle of the road only, please! No Socialists need apply.

Family names: Nothing exotic (Obama comes to mind)

No more sexual philanderers: (Like Giuliani, who cheated on his wife. That will not be tolerated!)

No religious exremists: (Gary Baur and Pat Robertson failed!)

No gays or lesbians: Obviously!

No candidate with a physical anomoly or disease,no matter how minor (unless they hide that fact)

No Socialists, Solipsists, Communists, Scientologists, or Independents of any kind need apply.

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Here are some qualifications which CAN bek (and are) accepted.

Stupidity

Lack of proper education

Dullness

War mongerers

Deficit hawks

Neocons

Those willing to trash the Constitution.

Liars (well, probably ALL fit in here!)

Deceivers

Criminals

War Profiteers

Those who favor or accept torture

Those who favor the rich (well, practically ALL)

Those who don’t give a damn about the "little man" or the "poor man" or minorities.

Those who secretly cheat on their wives

Those who secretly have done hard drugs.

Those who avoided a military draft but always support various wars.

Those who are willing to nuke some country who "represents a threat to the USA" (true or not)