Optimism Brings Victory

Optimism Brings Victory By Large Signs

By Peter Fredson

December 28, 2005

George and Dick don’t really need any more victories, any more assaults on Iraqi civilians and their homes, any more “advisors”, mercenaries, proselytizers, or even any more troops to declare victory. Victory is declared by George Bush with big smiles, strutting, swaggering, staring intently into the cameras, bobbing his head, making stiff gestures with his hands to show the world that he is winning whatever war he thinks he is in.

Victory is declared by Dick Cheney, launching satirical assaults at news reporters, showing that he personally is daily winning all the battles and stating that all his statistics show the Iraqi insurgency is “in its last throes.”

It has been in its last throes for several years now, and seems to be growing stronger ever day, but for Dick this is simply treacherous reporting which endangers our 180,000 practically defenseless troops with their huge tanks, cannon, assault planes, bunker buster bombs, heavy armaments, armor, night-vision goggles, etc., that makes them appear like aliens just off some doughnut-shaped space craft from Mars.

During one of Bush’s many speeches some huge signs proclaiming VICTORY were posted for the cameras, and were undoubtedly designed to prove to Americans that the war he provoked was won, and that only some mopping up would be needed. Surely that would only take a few weeks, or months, because those impressive signs must be correct.

His God must have told him that he was under divine protection and that winning was within his grasp. And, despite the fact that he had no course, he is fanatically determined to stick by it. Victory is really a promotional bit of campaign advertising requiring only a few people to post huge signs. The war will be over any time our Imperial President wants it to be over, providing Dick and Donald and Condi let him.

If only he could bend the Constitution a little bit more, spy on Americans on a wider scale, listen in on private conversations in bedrooms and dining rooms, in the workplace, in the libraries, in the public parks...then he could mop up all of the many American traitors that have been criticizing him.

If only he had Ashcroft with secret arrests, detentions, interrogations, and tweaking of the Civil Rights laws, then he could really crack down on domestic terror and fill our jails with anti-patriotic dissidents. Then he can go on to kill terrorists in Syria, Iran, and any other place he decides has
people that he should eliminate. Then he can evolve a Patriot Act that would make Adolph Hitler and Goebbels proud of him.

If only squeamish Americans would lose their outdated values and let Bush apply torture, abuse, indefinite detention, whipping, secret jails, waterboarding, snarling dogs, and other effective interrogation techniques then he could catch every terrorist in the world and lock them up in Guantanamo where the law cannot reach Bush. If only he could horse-whip, apply electricity to genitalia, tear out organs or finger nails, then the world would be much safer for Bush. If only his agents could open any mail then he can control the sheep-like public.

If people would realize that the Constitution is only a goddamm piece of paper, and that Bush is a heroic conqueror who has made the world safe for crony capitalism, fascism, corporate profits, and that by wrapping himself in flags and waving crosses he is the Truest kind of patriot to bring about the New World Order to dominate the wicked world.

If only people would realize that he is The Chosen Messiah of his Old Testament God and is simply carrying out orders whispered in his ear. Of only people would realize that he has his finger on the nuclear trigger and will not hesitate to press it, if in his petulance he flies off the handle, then he would be obeyed more readily.

If only people would finally recognize that George IS the law, this would be a better nation for the fundies, the cronies, the True Believers, the corporations, and for privatization of government resources into the capable hands of his appointees, who deserve every dollar they can steal.

Meanwhile let’s not mention Katrina, drowning victims, guitar playing, cake eating, stacking the Supreme Court, Social Security, Medicare, environmentalists, gays, abortion, dissenters, or other unpleasant topics. They make poor George very sad.