MSM Can’t Figure Out #Occupy Wall Street

Reprinted by permission but the author wishes to remain anonymous. 

As a mainstream media journalist it has been very, very difficult to cover "#Occupy Wall Street." First, what’s with the pound sign? I mean, how can I even write a story about a group when I can’t even figure out which alphabetical folder to put it in? Is it "p" for "pound" or "n" for number? What a joke! How can anyone take this group seriously? Hahahahahahahaha 

I went down to the "protest," to get the real scoop for you, dear reader. But after ten minutes it was obvious that this "movement" was going nowhere. Initially I noticed that no one there looked to be over thirty. Well, INITIALLY, I said. Then I saw some Vietnam era vets I would guess. Then maybe a few soldiers who had been between Iraq and a hard place. Hahahahahahahaha - sometimes I crack me up! LOL

Then there were hippy-types, union workers, pilots, teachers, white people, people of color, etc. ad nauseum. I mean GET REAL people. What’s your fucking demographic, huh? How in the hell am I, a professional mainstream journalist, supposed to cover this. Give me something that I can pigeonhole more easily. Look at the Tea Party for example. Now there’s a group after my own heart. (I am, myself, a white racis . . . uh, racer, that’s it, yes racer).

Now go and ask one of these, these, uh, well these "people" (for lack of an more easily identifiable stereotype) "What do you stand for?"

Jesus, the shit you’ll hear. Here’s the short list. 

Better pay for teachers. Oh c’mon! They don’t even work a full year. 

A livable wage. Well that one’s worn out! If you want a livable wage then get three jobs. Maybe one of ’em could be at a Doctor’s office that takes chickens or something. Bingo! Healthcare! Seriously, WTF? But don’t get too cozy thinking that you can stay on the healthcare teet of the cow with 300,000,000 tits - we gonna repeal that piece of trash. FDR didn’t get it right, this I KNOW from interviewing Oklahoma’s Congressmen AND the Koch brothers, and Mr. Roosevelt wasn’t even from Kenya!

Another little gal that I talked too, remember I was there for ten minutes (ten minutes too long if you ask me), was wearing a strapless, low cut top and a short dress told me she wanted "to see pollution and global warming stemmed or stopped." Get dressed and get real sweetheart. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Exxon or BP’s word is GOLD (as was their stock prior to all the hoopla that followed a couple little spills out in the ocean somewhere)! And the more gold you got the more ice you can melt. And we ALL realize that a shorter trade route from Europe to China, thanks to the melting of arctic ice, is nothing short of a boon for business. Still, she was kind of cute in her naïveté. 

One fellow said, "An end to Wall Street greed." Didn’t he ever see that movie with Michael Douglas? For those who have forgotten it let me refresh your memory: "Greed is Good!"

The last guy I talked to, he went by the name of Timbre Wolf, made a really smart-ass remark when I asked him what #occupy wall street really stood for: "Particular positions on particular issues . . .," he said, "- that is NOT the point. It’s simple we want people in power to do what’s RIGHT . . . ON ALL THE ISSUES."

A real wise guy, I tell ya.