Home > What would Scrooge McDuck do: How to survive the upcoming Bush Depression

What would Scrooge McDuck do: How to survive the upcoming Bush Depression

by Open-Publishing - Monday 22 November 2004
7 comments

Edito Elections-Elected USA


by Jane Stillwater

"Dear Uncle Scrooge: I am a low-income working woman about to retire on Social Security benefits. What should I do?"

Under Bush’s proposed new Social Security plan, you can forget about retiring, dear. Just plan to work ’til you’re 80 and die really really poor.

"Dear Uncle Scrooge: I’m a middle-aged man with lots of bucks. What should I do after George Bush bankrupts the country?"

Too late for that. With a 51-trillion-dollar debt and a horrific balance of payments to Halliburton and China, we are already bankrupt. Just do what I do — exchange your dollars for gold and swim in it!

"Dear Uncle Scrooge: I am a talking duck with three nephews. I wear a blue cap and don’t have a job."

You are in good company here. In the next four years, everybody else in America will be out of work too. I predict the return of the hobo jungle and the breadline. Luckily, you have a rich uncle. The rest of America is screwed.

"Dear Uncle Scrooge: I am a rich white guy who owns a company that makes bombs. How should I store my wealth?"

Invest offshore! Open Swiss bank accounts. Bury your money in Euros. Buy Asian stock. Save the first dime you ever made. Buy yourself a bank vault. You have used your resources wisely. You should do fine.

"Dear Uncle Scrooge: I live at the White House. I’m worried about how Americans will react when they find out that I stole the Treasury and committed election fraud."

Not to worry. Just bring the Beagle Boys back from Abu Ghraib and turn them loose on America’s REAL enemies — truck drivers, mail carriers, teachers, housewives, grocery clerks and the AFL-CIO!

*****

America goes postal: Send a post card to George Bush saying that you voted for John Kerry. Bush, even though he is currently violating his lease, the US Constitution (you gotta be ELECTED to live in the White House), he is still living at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington DC 20500.

****

From Jim: BUSHcott encourages all Kerry supporters, Nader supporters, traditional conservatives, and those concerned about Bush’s presumptive and aggressive stance since the election to NOT shop the day after Thanksgiving. Your children and grandchildren will thank you for it. As it stands now, this budget deficit will be our legacy to them.

****

From Code Pink — sign the Voter Bill of Rights Petition! To sign, visit: www.codepinkalert.org/National_Actions_Voter_Bill_of_Rights.shtml

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From Myron: Final presidential election tally: Bush 3, Kerry 190. 190 electors? No. 190 nations.

****

To all the Minuteman bloggers who caused the election recount: You are all invited to my very own online bloggers’ inaugural ball on January 20, 2005. Sorry. Kerry will have to have his own balls! And I imagine that Bush will respectfully decline this invitation. He will be in jail by then, fervently hoping that the death penalty law will be repealed — and that Gonzales, not the soap crew, will be reviewing his briefs for him.

http://jpstillwater.blogspot.com/

Forum posts

  • I am getting very tired of reading about how depressed we are all about the Bush win. He did not win, they cheated. The powers that be want us to get depressed and just mope about instead of getting angry and directing it at them. We can’t just sit here and take this. Our democracy is at stake. Even if Bush is inaugurated we cannot stop fighting. He has distroyed our credibility. He has killed 100,000+ innocent civilians. We are responsible for this madman, and if we allow ourselves to sit around feeling sorry for ourselves....how many more will die? There is no time. We must pursue exposing this administration and putting them and their cohorts in prison. Imagine all the people involved in stealing this election. We must start the prosecutions for treason.

    Wake up- stop being depressed- do you really want to play right into their hands?

    • i just talking to people at the post office about the stolen election, they hadn’t heard but were very excited- we have hope! tell everyone you come in contact with:

      – in florida, they found official signed voting receipts in the garbage!
      – there were tons of ’glitches’ that amazingly Always went for bush
      – CEO of Diebold, a top Bush fundraiser, "promised to deliver" Ohio to Bush
      – http://votergate.tv
      – http://blackvoxvoting.org
      – http://bellaciao.org for news

      and toss this one out there.... if there’s an attack now- who benefits?

      and if they’re under 40, watch eminem’s mosh at http://eminem.com

    • I agree totally except for one minute detail I am over 40 (46 to be exact) and I loved the mosh video. Tt say what I feel about bush would make my blood boil harder and be bad for my health.
      The part I am most angry about is the bill collectors who cant seem to believe that i am looking for work and have been for the longest stretch in my entire life. I have always been able to get work now I am in bad shape and dont see how it will get better with that fool destroying our economy and our environment.

      Something needs to be done about this. But we must never lose sight of the fact that our legislators are enabling and participating in this mess and must be dealt with as well. Yes we need change and a lot of it but this is a positive time because we are able to see the depth of the corruption and may be able to understand the level of change needed. The rest of the world, our own children, our poor and our neighbors are counting on us to do what it takes to stop this madness.

      I am cautiously optimistic that we might get past some of this stuff and move in the direction of being that country i was told about in school but have been unable to find so far.

    • 12 million of American families are already depressed by not having enough food supply.

      And come on! You can not stop fighting, because there will be more victims?

      I can tell you the only people, who will die belong to the so called interim Iraqi government.

      Who cares about former CIA employees? It’s the civilians which takes more and more death
      toll!

    • Attention tired and depressed! Please report back to Ward 3 for your medication. The economy was in a free fall when Clinton bailed (by law, but it was still convenient). Yes, the economy is beyond repair. Forget Social Security. Invest in printing presses because your uncle is burning up the presses at this very moment printing paper that is totally worthless. Just wait until the Japanese and Chinese quit buying our bonds and notes, you ain’t seen nothing yet.

    • Get a Life.

    • Sell all your dollars and buy Honduran lempiras.