The Night Before Christmas (in the White House)

’Twas the night before Christmas, and in the White House
George Bush was worrying, that slimey fould louse!
The Cheney’s were present, and contrators too
wheeling and dealing with war plans anew!

The "Twins" were out partying, absent from beds
zonked out on booze,not a thing in their heads.
Mama Beads and old Pappy, those two full of cr*p
had Barney and Beasely ensconsed in their lap.

Then out on the lawn there arose a huge chatter
Bush dropped his comic to see what’s the matter
Away to the window, undoing the sash
he gulped a big slug of some old sour mash!

The group with their faces all pink and a glow
peered out the window and looked down below.
When what to their "blearified" eyes should appear
but a noisy brown ’copter and it was so near!

The uniformed driver was lookin’ so slick
The knew is a moment it must be St.Nick!
More rapid than eagles Bush curses they came...
Bush thought he saw Gore..
and that was so lame!

You bast*rd!, you Liberal, you Red Commie freak!
All of your Democrats MY job you seek!
Get out of my life!, get off of my wall!
Get away, go away, I hate you all!

And then Dubya and his family and Dick
saw the Dems flee, go away so damned quick!
But all of a sudden there was a strange sound
Down the chimney St. Nickolas came with a bound.

He was garbed all in ermine from his head to his foot
and he word a gold chain,20 carats, Zer Gutt!
A tote bag of cash it hung on his back
he was a deal peddler, a lobbyist hack!

His eyes were all blurry, his ears were so hairy!
His teeth were all rotten..
really quite scary!
His rosy red nose from the liquor did glow
and his beard was all white from a surplus of "blow"

The stump of cigar he held tight in his jaw
was straight out of Cuba,and against the law.
He had a cruel face and a fat ugly belly
that gurgled and growled like a tub of beef jelly.

He was chubby and fat, a right horrendous elf
Bush laughed when he saw him
worse than his own self!
A big bloodshot eye and weird twisted head
gave pause to observers to shudder in dread!

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work
and crammed loot in stockings, then turned to the jerk!
Flipping the finger in a vulgar pose
he gave a quick wink, up the chimney he rose...

He jumped in his ’copter, to the pilot he whistled
and away they did fly like a fast guided missile!
And they heard him exclaim ’ere he flew out of sight:
"Merry Profits in War!...and to all a good fight!"