HECK OF A JOB GEORGE

By Peter Fredson

We are so glad that you recognized that race and poverty are part of your enduring legacy. You certainly deserve a lot of the credit for accelerating them. For a while we were not sure that you recognized that the U.S. actually had homeless people.

We had the impression that you thought they lived above hot-air grates and around dumpsters by choice. We realize that you may not actually LIKE blacks and bums, but now we know that you are at least aware that they exist and are part of your contribution to America and now must deal with them....unless Karl Rove can find a way to ship them off to some African nation or discover some disease that only affects people with malnutrition and lets nature get rid of them for you.

We appreciate the fact that you promptly sprang into action, two days after the hurricane hit and you saw several thousand people standing in water up to their necks. You first charitable impulse probably was to send them all swimming trunks or a slice of McCain’s cake. Your army warehouses still probably have some old K-rations from WW2, and some of those little Boy Scout pup-tents for people to crawl into at night. Your corporate buddies would probably only charge the drowning victims $100 each for used water-wings.

At least the destructive hurricane Katrina cleaned up those terrible slums of New Orleans. Now your developers can move in, seize the shacks and properties of those painfully disadvantaged idlers and build attractive mansions and casinos to attract wealthy clean types of people more to your liking. And it was genius on your part to state that minimum wages for the poor were probably too much for your corporate friends to give.

Would something like 25 cents an hour be too much for a 15-hour day making big shiny cars and swimming pools for the people you like? Whatever you say, Georgie, should be good enough for the poor, whom your God hates. And, if they don’t like it they can always go back where they were taken from.

We are also so glad that you recognized that you had some small, minimal part, in the aftermath of the hurricane. After all, you deserved 5, perhaps even 10 weeks of vacation, as there must be a lot of bush to cut there in Crawford.

You really weren’t doing much in Washington anyway, except plan to change that antiquated constitution to execute gays and insolent people who wanted to marry someone of their own sex and species. The invasion plans for Syria and Iran and now Venezuela are surely finished and just waiting for a good excuse to carry out. Anyway, Condi will take care of that.

And we know you wanted everybody to have a copy of those 10 or 20 Commandments, in every courthouse and school room in the country to fight sin and evil which seems to abound everywhere. And we know you want some judges to put uppity women in their place and keep them in the kitchen and bedroom where they belong. God certainly didn’t intend for women to make a CHOICE! That’s for men to decide.

And, you did have to cut your vacation short by a whole day in order to make speeches to seniors on social security that your executives plan to shift gradually into their own bank accounts and relieve those weary aged old crocks of all of the headache of keeping track of their investments.

And you did have to make a speech to some military types who you know will clap at the right moment and people will know that you are Da Man.

We know you wanted Terri Shiavo to have a good drink of water, and that your Prayers along with all those nice Republican Senators would miraculously, have her wake up and give you a big hug as the most concerned President that ever there was. That is SO precious.

We know you don’t want people to use condoms, but to pray instead, and that would probably work if they actually did it, so why not get some legislation for daily prayers against lusting? And jail indefinitely anyone who did not get a license to have intercourse. Every Republican in sight will vote for that. Now you might give every black 10 acres of good bottom land, a mule, and a plow.

As for reconstructing New Orleans, we know you have already chosen some reliable old friends that will take those billions of taxpayer dollars and that they will only steal about 50% of the money, as they are honest executives and you don’t have to watch them or bother to count any money with old cronies. So, it’s a done deal. Yes, you’re doing a heck of a job, Georgie!

We are sure that when you investigate yourself, you will find that pointing fingers doesn’t work. We need every hand to build, build, build, not blame.

By the way, did you ever find out who outed that CIA woman?