Meanwhile, back at the White House ...

Commentary
Meanwhile, back at the White House ...

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David Rossie
Commentary

"Oh, dear, George, they convicted Ken."

"Ken who?"

"Ken Lay. It’s all over today’s papers."

"You know I don’t read newspapers."

"I know, but Ken was your friend. You used to call him Kenny Boy, remember?

"Never heard of him."

"What do you mean you never heard of him? He raised all that money for you when you were running for governor and in 2000 when you ran for president. And he flew us to Washington in his company plane for the inauguration."

"That’s not the way I remember it. As I recall, he supported Ann Richards for governor."

"But surely you remember Enron and what happened."

"Enron? Isn’t that a refinery?

"You’re thinking of Exxon. Enron is or rather was the company that made tons of money off the California energy crisis and then collapsed when it turned out Ken and Skilling and Fastow got caught cooking the books. Thousands of people lost their jobs, their savings, their pensions."

"I don’t remember any of that. I must have been busy with 9/11. I’ve been busy with 9/11 ever since 9/11."

"But don’t you remember him coming to the White House to help Dick develop a new national energy policy?"

"Dick didn’t invite me to those meetings. So why should I care who was there? Besides, they always seemed to hold them when I was out riding my bicycle."

"Surely you must remember Pat Wood."

"Who?"

"Pat Wood. He was Ken’s buddy, the man you made head of the Federal Regulatory Commission at Ken’s request because Ken didn’t like Curtis Herbert. You don’t remember forcing Herbert to resign?"

"I don’t remember that or any of those people you’re talking about."

"You must remember Ralph Reed."

"Ralph who?"

"Ralph Reed, Jack Abramoff’s pal."

"Why would I know anyone connected to Jack Abramoff, whoever he is?"

"Because back in ’97, you had Karl Rove persuade Ken Lay to put Reed on his payroll at $10,000 a month."

"There you go with that Ken Lay business again. How many times do I have to tell you I’ve never heard of him."

"Well, I’m sure you’ve heard of Alberto Gonzales."

" Of course. I think he will make a fine head of Central Intelligence. He is the right man to head the agency at this critical time."

"No, George. Alberto is attorney general."

"I thought Ashcroft was attorney general."

"He was, but he quit to go write songs."

"I like songs. I’ve got a whole bunch of them on my iPod. I listen to them while I’m riding my bike."

"Maybe that’s why you keep running into trees."

"Don’t change the subject. What’s this Gonzales guy got to do with this Lay person you keep talking about?"

"Gonzales worked at Vinson and Elkins, a Houston law firm before you brought him to the White House."

"Was he a guest worker?"

"He was a lawyer, you dimwit. And now he’s the country’s top lawyer."

"So what’s that got to do with Enron?"

"When he was at Vinson and Elkins, which represented Enron, he signed off on a lot of Enron’s shady accounting practices."

"Well, I’m sure he wouldn’t do anything questionable as attorney general."

"You’d better hope not. But back to poor Ken. He said after the verdict that God is in control of the situation and he ’works all things for good for those who love the Lord.’"

"Well, I hope so for his sake, but I have to say God has never mentioned him to me. Maybe he’s never heard of this Lay person, either."

"You’d better hope so, George because some people are saying that Lay/Skilling is a precursor of Bush/ Blair."

"Who?"

Rossie is associate editor; his column is published on Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.