The 7 Minute Daydream: What went on in Bush’s mind?

We all know about the 7 minutes during the 9/11 attacks when Bush sat "reading" My Pet Goat. But most people have no idea what was going on inside that bland brain as Bush just seemed to stare into space for those long, intermindable minutes.

Well, thanks to new technology developed by Professor G.L.Looney of Harvard, we now have insight into exactly what Bush’s thoughts were. As a public service and as an exclusive to Bellacio, I present those musings below:

Minute #1 (immediately after Andy Card whispered in Bush’s ear) "Hmm, I wonder why he asks if I have to go pee? I don’t"

Minute #2 "And what was that about planes hitting the twin towers? I thought that wasn’t scheduled until the 15th"

Minute #3 "I’d better not get up. It might panic the children and the TV audience will think I don’t care about these brats"

Minute #4 "I’m bored. This goat book stinks! How dare Card ask me to do this photo op!"

Minute #5 "Now that the trade towers have been hit, Dick and I will be raking in the dough. Now we can launch that war against those scumbag uncooperative Taliban ba*t*rds!..and the public will lap it up!"

Minute #6 "Karl has a great idea. He wants me to grab a megaphone and rattle off some line while standing atop a pile of rubbish with some dopey fireman. I’ll do it..and I’ll bet the dummies will buy it"

Minute #7 "I’d better not sit here much longer. I’m getting nervous. Gee!, I hope nobody’s filming this, it could be embarrassing"