BUSH REASSURES THE PUBLIC

BUSH REASSURES THE PUBLIC

By Peter Fredson

June 8, 2005

It was reassuring to hear, over the past several days, that George Bush and Tony Blair had only the best of attentions toward Saddam Hussein. They both denied any nasty memo charging them with plotting war against Iraq. They both reassured their publics that they had only peaceful intentions. In fact, both of them used the word “peace” several times. Would they do that to mislead? Are we not reassured by their sincerity?

We remember that Bush, before troops were accidentally sent to Iraq, used the word “peace” on multiple occasions. He even gave Saddam Hussein many chances to cooperate for peace, but you know those evil guys don’t cooperate well with pious people offering their version of “peace.”

So it is passing strange that somehow “peace” became transformed, probably by satanic design, into Shock and Awe. Somehow planes dropped bunker buster bombs on Iraqi homes, just barely missing Saddam but regretfully killing a few dozen or thousand civilians that happened to get in the way.

Somehow thousands of soldiers with huge tanks, cannon, gas masks, night vision goggles, and armored vehicles (only “lightly” armored) entered Iraq, immediately seized all the oil wells, and somehow Millennium Corporation got control of all the oil, and thousands of contractors seized other Iraq resources.

Somehow hundreds of people came streaming into Iraq to teach the people the True Meaning of Peace and the Joy of Their Lord.

And somehow, Bush reassures us, surrounding nations send thugs, bandits and undesirables into Iraq to fight the peaceful American troops. So, Bush reassures us daily, he is winning the battle. He also reassures us that he will leave Iraq soon, but just incidentally is building 4 huge air bases there, with permanent installation, and will build the largest embassy in the world, because he so loves peace and Iraqis.

He reassures us that there is no corruption, no proselytizing, no damage, and that everything is running smoothly except for a few dissidents who will soon be dealt with harshly.

Bush doesn’t like to mention American dead soldiers other than excessively praising their bravery on every occasion he is criticized unnecessarily, while he is patriotically waving large flags and bringing freedom, liberty and democracy via Donald Rumsfeld to ungrateful Iraq “insurgents.” Bush reassures us that all the dead will go immediately up to his heaven.

It was reassuring to know that Bush will open up the American unspoiled wildernesses so that his corporate friends may gaze on the beauties of nature from their exclusive fishing lodges. It is reassuring to have Bush inform us that no damage to the environment will result from corporate machinery, factories, etc.

It was reassuring to have Bush inform us that the recent airline employees that lost most of their pensions are just ungrateful crybabies, that there is no cause for alarm. Everything is fine.

It was also reassuring to know that the 60 day lecture tour of Bush around America “informing” the public about social security, really is a benevolent attempt to put people’s precarious Federal Money into safe private banker’s hands.

Privatizing does not necessarily mean “piratizing” after all. We all know how safe our investments were in Enron, and how avidly Bush has pursued Ken Lay and his cohorts. We have the example of dangerous felon Martha Steward to show us how severe Bush can be on people who lie.

It was very reassuring to learn that all the alleged cases of torture and abuse at Abu Ghraib and Guantanamo are simply pranks by a few untrained people and that what seems to be holding people without warrant or charges is actually protecting their civil rights.

It is very reassuring to know that all of the people suspected of being vicious war hawks, belligerent, dogmatic and committed to U.S. hegemony, who are given cabinet and other high positions, are actually guardians of American values. It was reassuring to know that Wolfowitz loves banking systems, that Rumsfeld loves Muslims, that Condi uses obfuscation in a delightful fashion, and that Bolton despite his rough exterior actually LOVES the United Nations and will do his level best to improve the institution.

It is certainly reassuring to know that the Executive Office has now merged with the Legislative Office, and soon will merge with the Judicial System. That will eliminate all those nasty debates and quarrels about civil rights, abortions, sex, education, and anything else the neoconservatives decide is good for them.

It is reassuring to know that religion will no longer be divisive as there will be only one approved version permitted and that George Bush is personally privy to what the almighty God has planned all along. You just have to trust him.

We hope this reassures EVERYBODY! Rest in PEACE!